A Christmas Card from Isaac: A Look Back on 2008

Hello all!

This year has been an incredible year for me. I feel that I have grown in many ways as an individual, and all because of the events I have experienced, and the people I have experienced them with. This "Christmas card" is a way of sharing with you some of what I encountered this year and also a way of thanking God for his faithfulness in giving me the strength, wisdom, and love I so desperately need to navigate through life...Hope you enjoy!

JANUARY
Juli's wedding
In January, we drove through the frigid Pennsylvania forests into grey stillness of New Jersey for my Aunt Juli's wedding. We had fun at the wedding and in time spent with family. We danced with people we didn't know. We ate great food. We talked--a lot (How is my family not Italian? Haven't figured that one out yet...)


FEBRUARY
Nothing happened.

MARCH
Florida
Toward the end of March, when we midwesterners are at the point of exasperation with all the cold, my family is lucky enough to have a little pad in North Miami to crash in. While vegetating in the humidity, we went to the beach, observed the birds and gators in the Everglades, and meandered through Fairchild's Tropical Garden.


APRIL
Again, nothing happened.

MAY
Rilo Kiley
Happy Birthday Isaac and Erika!!! In May, we celebrated our birthdays with a trip to the House of Blues in Cleveland to see the indie sensation Rilo Kiley. The musical quality was amazing and it was fun to make fun of the couple making out in front of us the whole time!


Shane's wedding
I had never played guitar at a wedding until my good friend Shane Humphrey graciously extended the invitation for me to play with Andy Black for his wedding to Jillian. It was a beautiful ceremony...Seeing the bride walk down the aisle from the front and being close enough to see the look on Shane's face was a special moment...Saw many good friends from school at the wedding and Cody helped us find our way out of the Ashland countryside!

Gabe's dance
Toward the end of May, I was priveleged to attend Gabe's annual dance recital. It is truly impressive to see how he has evolved as a dancer. I don't know much about dance, but I know that he is very talented...PDC has been a great outlet for him to express himself and get buff in the process :)


JUNE
South Dakota
Early June was the first trip I took out west--this time with my family. We stayed in the Badlands during the first portion, and followed up at Custer State Park. Highlights included hiking a very tumultous trail through the crags of the Badlands. At one point you had to climb this wooden ladder--scared Mom half to death. Also, in Custer we climbed the tallest peak in South Dakota, Mount Harney. The view was spectacular, and gave Mom the bragging rights we always knew she deserved :).

^Harney Peak^

JULY
Pine Ridge Indian Reservation
Toward the end of July Erika, Julianna, and I, along with some others from churches in the Canton area headed out to Pine Ridge, South Dakota for a mission trip/vacation in the West. The first week on the Reservation was very enlightening and saddening. If you want your ideas of an "equal" America shattered, go out there and see how the government has screwed over the Lakota. On a happier note, we saw some of the most beautiful forms of nature when we were out there--electric storms, the glistening sun going down behind the black hills, flying hawks. On the trip back, we stopped at Custer, Wall, and St. Joseph's Indian School. One of the most enlightening trips I have ever taken...

mewithoutyou
Also in this month, Erika bought us tickets to go see the infinitely artistic and wonderful mewithoutyou. Although they were sans drummer, the concert was delightful with Aaron Weiss and all his prophetic banter!

AUGUST

Dan's wedding
In August, Erika and I attended my roomate Dan's wedding to Anna. At the reception, my friend Zak gave possibly the most polished, touching toast I have ever heard. I asked him how he came up with it, and do you know what he told me? He winged it. Go figure.

SEPTEMBER
Whitewater rafting
I am not the type to ever put myself in situations where I perceive that I am out of control. I hate roller coasters, theme parks, dangerous things. Yet, I decided to join my friends at the beginning of the school year on a whitewater rafting excursion. It was a little frightening at points, but the Pennsylvania forest was gorgeous at the time of year, and it made me feel very outdoorsy and rustic. Thanks for convincing me to go, Erika!

OCTOBER
My first camping trip
In my year of firsts, I went on my first camping trip, ever. I had never slept outside before, never cooked a meal over a fire--nada. It was a blast! Nick, Phil, Julianna, Erika, Kathleen, and Emily all went during the first part of our fall break from school. We cooked pie-irons, talked, sat out by the lake at night, goofed off, hiked, scared off racoons. Did I mention I nearly froze to death?

Joshua Radin A self-proclaimed "whisper-rocker," Radin's music can be heard on Scrubs. Erika loves his music and I decided to tag along. It was an intimate concert at a Kent University hall. Nice evening, relaxing music.

Coldplay I spent my first paycheck this summer on Coldplay tickets in order to suprise Erika. And it was totally worth it! The concert was amazing...I was literally physically nervouse before they came on--I was looking forward to it that much. They opened with Life in Technicolor/Violet Hill and ended with Yellow. A highlight was Lovers in Japan in which they project these giant video reels of Japan and fireworks and there were falling paper butterflies that lit up with blacklight glow! We actually got to sit in better seats than I had purchased...A marvelous concert!

NOVEMBER
State Finals!
Samuel played quads on the drumline this year, and the marching band took home a 27th state finalist title, scoring straight ones across the board in every category. Samuel has progressed very rapidly on the drums, and I am very proud of him. I love to brag that when he entered the marching band, he couldn't even read drum music, and now he has made it onto the drumline!

Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving, Uncle Steven and his girlfriend Michelle visited as well as Erika during the last part of Thanksgiving. We had a great time, with lots of thats-what-she-saids, laughter, too much food, endless board games, and did I mention food?

DECEMBER

Chicago

Right after finals, I headed up to Chicago with Erika and my dad. On Monday I had a tour/appointments at Wheaton College, as I am considering attending their graduate program in clinical psychology. The campus was beautiful, but more importantly their progam seems to be very well suited to my professional interests. And we nearly froze to death. On Tuesday, we toured the School of the Art Institute of Chicago as Erika is interested in getting another degree in Art Education. The facilities were outrageous! The whole place was top of the line, multifaceted--painting, digital design, fashion, metalwork, video, performance art--you name it. On Tuesday night, we traveled back through some pretty bad weather conditions. Very thankful we were safe...


Goodbye to Julianna, Phil, and Greer We had a great time over at Erika's place partying like rockstars and saying goodbye to our friends...Julianna with be studying in Uganda, Phil will be working for the U.S. Justice Department, and Greer will be studying in Uganda. We will miss them very much, but their various experiences should be very enriching.

Thank you to all who made this year an incredible experience!

May God bless you in the new year...

Isaac

Chi City

This weekend, the lady and I and pops are headed to Chicago to check out Wheaton College's Clinical Psychology graduate program and the facilities of the Art Institute of Chicago...

Should be a great trip...

That's all.

To be continued...

All you need is lovecanton.com

Hello all!

: All my millions of readers who have been faithful even when I have been faithless and apathetic in my blogging capabilities.

A lot is going on right now.

Things stewing inside my head:

I have had the most difficult semester of my life this year academically...it always feels like I'm scraping by. Eight hours of sleep a night is a rarity.

This December I am going to the Chicago area to check out the Wheaton College graduate program in Clinical Psychology and look at an art school with ma'lady.

My roomate is leaving next semester for Washington D.C.

I have to figure out what I am going to write my thesis on next semester. Two whole semesters to research a phenomena! Woohoo! I am a geek!

Thinking more about my calling. Very interested in working with the underclass in psychological endeavors.

Thinking about selling my guitar and buying a hammered dulcimer and a banjo. (How shallow.)

BUT:

One of the most spiritually significant things I have been involved in this semester has been working with lovecanton through a bible study (Move Group) we have started on campus. We are holding Bible studies *and* going into Canton to serve. We have participated in several clean-up days so far and it has been very eye-opening into the nature of poverty in Canton. It has been beautiful to see the Church at work. Rivertree, Malone, Refuge of Hope, and Multidevelopment Services in Canton have come together to enact some real change in our community.

I am thankful that God has been teaching me about service this semester.

If you would like anymore info, check out lovecanton.com

Where has my Culture Gone?

How do I define myself as a white male of the midwest?

What does my culture look like?

These are questions on my mind, and ensuing blogs will address this topic.

For now, I'm off to class...

I know, what an intellectual tease.

I've been told.

Required Reading

Yesterday, in Bible study, we were reviewing the passage of James that advises us that we should look at trials and temptations and say, "Oh look--what pure joy this is!"

This is what I love about the Bible. Really messed up people who are being called to really high standards. It's humorous actually. The stark impossibility of such a premise forces us into the arms of a God who can use us in ways we never thought possible.

Anyhow, one of the things I find in my life is that it is very easy to equate "suffering" with "studying." Its an alliterative thing and its not all that unreasonable of a connection...yet somehow it is one of the most ridiculous assertions I have made.

Suffering, true suffering, has rarely ever touched me. It has barely darkened the doorstep, but it has never touched me. I have grown up as a pastor's son watching people's lives fall apart.

Drug abuse. Rape. Divorce. Adultery. Egoism.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm in one of those action movies where everything is blowing up. The plot is coming to a culmination and the main actor is just kind of mozying through a street and everything is in slow-mo. Shards and shrapnel are flying everywhere. People are running.

Yet, somehow the actor remains untouched.

That's how I feel sometimes.

And because of that, I feel two things: 1. gratitude 2. obligation

1.

I am so lucky to live in a clean, albeit lackinginaesthetics, dorm that is safe.

I have well-educated friends I can chat with about all kinds of subjects.

Hunger for me is solved (kind of) by a trip to Taco Bell.

The labor required of me is that I read, and manage my time well.

This is not suffering, this is a privelege.

2.

I pray that God will not let me live my life within the confines of that false construct we call "safety."

I want to help those in need, even if I get bruised up along the way.

I need to remain hypervigilant about the injustice that is suffered in the world today, and actively look for ways to combat it.

To whom much has been given, much has been required.

That's where I'm at right now.

Spot On

This weekend, I watched the much talked-about Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Great movie. Kaleioscopically shot around a rustic poem. What more could one ask for? Cerebral and funky.

The thing I liked about it most, though, was the relational aspects of the movie. The blue hair and broken ice, the disintegrating bookshelves and crumbling houses...all of these fed into the main point:

Relationships are imperfect and yet they are the most important thing we have been given in this life. I think the reason this film struck me was that I am very interested into entering a field in which you "piece together" people lives again. Most of the time I find that appealing, but sometimes when I think about it, I wince at the impossibility.

This movie was one of the most beautiful depictions of broken people attempting to put their lives back together...I can only hope to experience things like this in my professional life.

And if I do, believe me, I will make an artsy film about it and make boo-koo bucks so I can retire and laze about on some deserted island in the Carribean.

Follow the Leader

They all condemned him as worthy of death. 65Then some began to spit at him; they blindfolded him, struck him with their fists, and said, "Prophesy!" And the guards took him and beat him. (Mark 16:64-65 NIV)

Last night, I decided to stay up and watch Barack Obama give his acceptance speech. The crowd was electric in Chicago. And in New York. And Washington. One commentator noted that the atmosphere was like New Year's Day.

Barack came out to give his speech, poised and polished as always. The crowd hung on his every word.

And can you only imagine the security around him? The podium was noticeably bigger at this speech than others...maybe it was bullet-proof?

Well, the ironic part was that I was reading my Bible at the same time. And I don't know what that says about me...maybe streamlining a little much?

I was reading the part where Jesus, a great leader, is brought before a crowd. But on this night it was a tough crowd.

The members of the Sanhedrin were hanging on his every word, but with a very different motive. They were shuffling the laws in their minds and checking their made-up facts because they didn't want him causing any more trouble. In fact, they wanted them dead.

Jesus didn't say much to them, but what he did say-regarding his Messiahship/divine nature--they didn't want to here. And so they condemned him--beat him, spit on him, and sent him to death on a cross.

And Jesus didn't flinch. He humbled himself to the point of death as everyone abandoned him.

At his point of victory, there was not the roar of a crowd ringing in his ears. There were not people flashing photographs and chanting his name.

At the point of his victory, there were nails through his hands and ankles. There was blood on his brow, and there was the weight of the sin of the universe on his shoulders.

All this to say, the irony of last night reminded me that my true leader was not accepted in his time. He was slain on a cross, beaten, and abandoned by his best friends.

His acceptance speech was a gasp that still rings in my ears: It is finished.

Thank you Jesus for leading us unto salvation and a redeemed world.

Guess Who's Back?

To all my faithful readers in the Cyber Diaspora:

Greetings and Peace Be Unto You.

In a rare flare of idealism or meaning or something that resembles that, I am starting to blog again for the day--I'll keep my promises to a minimum.

This weeekend I learned:

what it feels like to sleep outside
all about trust
74 pgs of the Wheaton PsyD Student Handbook
that my car feels like a wholenotha machine when air is in the tires
that rest is a good thing

I am now starting the second portion of the semester...

Up until now, I have been a little spiritually depressed...issues with trust, doubt, laziness, and the like...

After all this rest, however, I am ready to turn over a new leaf, even as the leaves are falling, and start living my life for the purposes God has created me for.

O the Idealism

O the Hope

lets see how far we can take this beat up car....

Leaving

The manager at work had to leave work today to check on my friend, we'll call him John, who has called off the last couple days.

The doctor's office tried to call his house, and he wouldn't pick up.

John told me he had been vomiting up blood last week, and the last day I saw him at work he was acting really strange. I thought he was either drunk or he was about to have a heart attack.

So, when my manager told me this kind of hurriedly when I walked in the store, it seemed logically and unfortunately grim. It wouldn't have surprised me if he would have walked in and found him dead on the couch.

The good news, I suppose, is that John is still alive. The manager said he looked really bad, and thats about all I got to talk about it with him. The whole thing is so complicated, though.

I mean, John is an alcoholic and he knows it. He stipulates that he doesn't need the booze--he just likes how it relaxes him. He insists "I'm not on a liquid diet; I take care of myself." But I watch him purchase alcohol regularly after work. Four o' clock and its time for some Old Milwaukee. If he's having a particularly rough day, he'll playfully say "I'm going to go home and have a beeo."

Beeo. John has one of the most pronounced speech impediments I have ever encountered. He was abused as a child. He is not mentally retarded, but I think he does have a learning disability. Employees jokingly call him "mo-on," but he fights right back.

John bears some deep wounds. Although his hatred for his father died along with the man, I think that memories are seared into his psyche. One time, he recounted to me how his father kicked him in the stomach with his boot.

I think John grew up feeling unwanted.

Then, in the midst of a relationship with someone who did want him, his girlfriend died. I don't know her name, and I have never asked. He does have a tatoo on his forearm that says "Judy." It looks like a five-year old made it.

And now its work.drink.work.drink.work.drink.

John has a joke that he uses to console those at the store who hate their job. He says "I'm here eight hours and then I leave. I'm here eight hours and then I leave. I'm here eight hours and then I leave."

I think the part he leaves out is what happens when he leaves.

And it is very easy to point a finger at John. He has chosen to gorge himself with alcohol, and he is very selfish. He is an adult man, and he should be more responsible.

Yet there is something very innocent about John that still remains, although I think his father killed him in many ways during his childhood and that the alcohol is just another step.

At this point, I don't know how to approach the situation, but I am happy that he is alive.

I don't think he is living as he could, and I am going to need to think about how to approach him as a friend.

Please pray for him.

Communion

Tonight, as I was chatting with a friend, I mentioned that at the end of the day all people really want is someone to listen to them; I felt quite the ideological thief: sorry Coldplay. ("Square One"--you want someone listening to what you say /it doesn't matter who you are) It is so amazing to me that humans, of all different sorts, long for one simple thing: communion. Connection with some person, some God, whatever...It is not enough to be alone.

Which I am going to take up with my employer, who sets me loose on a shiny grocery store floor by myself for most the day...

That said...I just think that this is an epiphany of sorts. And its one of those things that sounds realy cheesy when someone else says it, but seems very meaningful to you when you actually think it through.

But the other thing that interests me is that I think humans long, at their core, for spiritual communion, for purpose and unconditional love.

Our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee...

Clock Out

Well, I have four days off.

And I get to see ma'lady all four days.

It was great to tune in, turn on, and clock out of Kroger into an alternate reality known as life with those I love for the weekend.

07/04/08
07:00 PM

Oh yeah.

God is God

Recently, I have become uncomfortable when thinking about some ideas about God, but most uncomfortable when thinking about God in a box.

I suppose when you go to a Christian college, you are encouraged to try to understand as much as possible about God, to be studious and all...

But I guess when it comes down to it, you realize maybe God wasn't as tame as you thought he was. Maybe he was even more loving.

Maybe you ought to be trembling more, in light of his power--and mostly because of his love.

My current goal is to follow in the footsteps of Moses and all the other great biblical characters.

It seems like they were the ones who were brave/stupid (not really) enough to get as close to God as possible...It left Moses face shining, but he survived....

I want to do that...to try to get to know God as much as possible...

I've got some huge questions right now, but I'm going to lean in and take off my sandals...

The Angry White Male

The thing I love about college is how you learn so much at a distance...

And then, all of a sudden, when you are immersed in the brutal world of bills and beer you realize that the world you are studying actually exists.

Today, I met an Angry White Male.

I learned about him in "Gender and Communication."

He lives in the postindustrial world which robs him of any skill or dignity.

He works close to the ground to rub two pennies together.

He thinks black people and women have taken all opportunity from him.

And I do not know whether to feel sorry for him or his ignorance.

Or both.

I probably feel sorry for both.

This Angry White Male
dropped out of college
and was married to Little Debbie.
Then Papa Kroger paid his way through school in 89.
Then he was turned down by the Man
because he was not a minority.
Then he pissed ass (his words not mine no not mine) around the store for the rest of his working years.

Do I feel sorry for him or his ignorance or both?

Quantum Change

I recently finished reading a book called Quantum Change which explores, pyschologically, a certain type of change people experience in which they do a complete 180, become an entirely new person in a matter of minutes. Probably the most classic example of this is Paul's conversion story, although this type of change is not limited to religious conversion.

What was particularly interesting about the stories of change that were depicted in this book was that many of those who told their stories ended up feeling much more interconnected with others following their change experience. They participated much more in acts of compassion and felt a unity with the world not yet felt before.

The book, at times, came close to what I would label as dangerous optimistic progressivism - Like the notition that we are all really good people, but we just have to hope to discover it...yet the book did include a great deal of talk about the role of God or a Higher Power in "quantum change."

I thought the following expcept from the book fits quite well with a ideal (I know that we are all selfish wretches in addition to being capable of good) Christian understanding of purpose, although it was describing simply the phenomenon that ocurred after quantum change for many people:

"...they were the natural result of experiencing, in essence, that love is what we are and what we are meant to be. It is our nature. The vision clashes with modern views of humanity as innately self-serving or a blank slate neither good nor evil. The experience is that we are already and inherently part of-or intimately linked to, or made in the image of, or bearing the seeds of-something named or nameless that is so vast as to defy our imagination and the fundamental nature of which is a love so great that it simply overwhelms our ability to comprehend it" (188).

The Last Two Days Cannot Be Written In Sentences

thunderstorm
frozen dinner
meeting new people
mewithoutyou
expectations and reality
beautiful reality
love
God
smoke
graffitti
fog
excitement
clean carpet
chipotle
I finished Quantum Change! (Ok, that's a sentence.)
boredom
anticipation
great conversation
music
stars
fireworks
bliss

Coldplay: Viva La Vida

The new album is a wonderful soundscape.

I wish it were longer.

I wish they didn't postpone their July 6 show in Cleveland.

I wish they didn't release two of the ten tracks to the public prior to the album's release as a marketing ploy.

But I forgive them.

Redemption! Redemption?

Last night I took a walk with my father (which is one of my favorite things to do during the summer when I have a day off work), and on our walk we ran into a guy my dad met from teaching at COTC.

This man's name is David Hottinger. He has lived in Newark since 1976, and he has abused substances for around 25 years. A couple years ago, he hit rock bottom, served some jail time, and decided that he needed to make a change. He has turned his life around so much so that now he is working for the Licking County Alcohol Prevention Program. He is soon to graduate from Central Ohio Technical College, where he has the respect of many people. In fact, the dean of academics (I think--or some other bigwig) told him that if he had his master's degree she would turn the entire psychology program to him.

David still has a rather coarse vocabulary (although he is an eloquent writer), he still smokes cigarettes, and I am pretty sure most of Newark (or at least the police department) is still trying to shake off some memories of past behavior.

And yet David works with many others who are living like he used to who refuse to give up the booze or the dope or whatever. They repeat unhealthy behaviors, go through programs more than once, go to jail more than once.

How hard it must be to constantly live in a world where you have Redemption! while the others are left with Redemption?

The Human as Habit

Do something everyday for no other reason than you would rather not do it, so that when the hour of dire need draws nigh, it may find you not unnerved and untrained to stand the test. - William James

Could the young but realize how soon they will become mere walking bundles of habits, they would give more heed to their conduct while in the plastic state. - William James

The above quotes are from William James, commonly referred to as the father of psychology. I, because I am not engulfed in patriarchal misconceptions of history, and because I have such good taste, will refer to him as a founder of psychology. (I actually have no clue as to the influence of women in psychology...just thought I'd try to sound like the intellectual clown I am.)

Anyway,

I am trying to blog everyday, not because I think that I have daily doses of wisdom to offer the whole world, but because I believe the process will help me become more thoughtful. Hopefully this habit will move me from claiming to be cerebral to actually attaining a habit that will help me develop as a person.

*And* I am being paid $750 for each post by a blogging company.

Jk.

Homeless Man

Last night, I watched a good portion of a documentary called Homeless Man about the life of Rich Mullins, a phenomenal Christian songwriter and advocate for the poor. It is incredibly moving and I think it is one of the most wonderful expressions about how one can live a life that is Christlike - relevant and helpful to the poor.

Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_P8n6eysZ0&feature=related

Another Way of Looking at Life

I just finished reading Galatians last night. In some ways, when I began the book, I was thinking "Man, I am going to be hard-pressed to find relevance for my life in this book." I mean, Paul is talking about circumcision and the relationship between Jew and Gentile, and I was wondering when I was going to run into the "classic" verses.

First of all, let me say that I strongly support careful exegesis--studying something that is confusing oftentimes can be very rewarding. I lived with a theology major for two years...I know that much. Don't decontextualize.

Yet, when I got towards the end of the book, I found some words that were of great use for my daily life. Around the classic recitation of the characteristics of the Spirit, Paul exclaims "If we live by the Spirit, let us be guided by the Spirit."

I am overly analytical and lazy, which seems to be counterintuitive, so sometimes I simply overlook the fact that I am full of the Holy Spirit if I claim to be a Christian. Blame it on Western rationalization, or blame it on a dull spade of a mind, I just usually prefer to live my life without this memo.

Which just goes to show that I prefer to be my own god. Which is a sin. And which does also not make life that enjoyable.

So, my challenge for the rest of the summer, for the rest of my life really, is to live everyday in light of the fact that I am Spirit-filled--empowered.

Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Gentleness. Self-Control.

Eyes Wide Open

I'm currently reading a book called "Serving with Eyes Wide Open: Doing Short Term Missions with Cultural Intelligence." This reading is in preparation for my trip out West to the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation and is meant to help frame the experience in a meaningful way. I planned on just skimming the book and faking my way through the question on the application, but I started reading and I am intrigued by the content. It talks a lot about shedding off the "The world is America and mine for the taking" mindset. Very cool.

I just wish that they wrote books to prepare you for everything in life.

Like how do you react when your co-worker is talking about "slitting b-tches necks" and infusing every sentence with so many "f-cks" that you can barely discern what it is he is trying to articulate?

How do you talk to someone who only wants to drink his life away?

How do you talk to someone who objectifies women?

How do you talk to someone who mocks people with retardation?

I mean, I know that sometimes you have to come down off your high horse...you have to leave all the shine and pristine world of ideas, but how do you interact with someone who thinks radically different than you do?

Or are they really that different? Maybe you have just become so well socialized and well-kempt that you don't send out such barbaric utterances and underdeveloped conceptualizations.

But then again, a Christianity is sometimes like putting a square peg in a round hole. The Gospel always opposes this wretched world.

Alas, what am I to do?

Melodrama!

All I am saying is that sometimes Krogers feels like a whole 'notha culture.

Bit by Bit

Today, one of my favorite coworkers pointed out that I was "Dave's bit."

Dave is my boss, and my friend has a speech impediment.

Bit=bit-h.

I liked to think of the situation as being his right hand man (as we set up a display with various forms of beer and a porch set...there was something very unnatural about that much beer surrounding a porch set...i can't really imagine anyone enjoying themselves with their view of the backyard impeded by a stack of Coronas)

Anyhow,

I spent the better part of my day sorting out massive amounts of beer and wine, ensuring that all the giddy alcoholics in Ntown could easily access their beverage of choice.

I only took one break.

I cut my pinky.

I didn't have that much quality human interaction.

But, do you know what I got for it?

46 hours of paid work next week, and Thursday, Friday and Saturday until four off so I can see ma'lady.

Boo ya!

I may be referred to as the boss's bit...

but the truth is

I AM THE MICHAEL JORDAN OF GROCERY CLERKS!

Relevancy

Today I started my job again at the grocery store. As part of the homogenization of their employees, Kroger requires that you complete several computer modules before they set you loose on the shiny floor.

Following what would later turn out to be too-vague instructions, I proceeded to complete the modules I thought I needed in order to start my job.

As I was sitting there during one of the sessions, I was think to myself "This is so irrelevant to what I will actually be doing in the store." It was way out of the scope of things that I would be doing. I was hired to cut open boxes and put things on shelves, and this computer program was telling me about how to order more products, various functions of the scanner, and the relationship between BOH and MIN. Tons of useless crap. I failed the quiz.

As I was retreating back into the cheesy model, incredulous that I would have to learn all this stuff, the guy who hired me walked in and said "Didn't I tell you not to do that module?"

Well, he hadn't advised me so, but that wasn't the point.

I didn't have to finish. Hooray.

All this to say--

While working at Kroger, I wonder about the people I work with. Do they find meaning in their work? Am I too narrow-minded, too sheltered by academia, too white-collar to believe that someone could be passionate about scanning barcodes and packing fridges?

Or do they see no relvancy to what they are doing? Is it a continuous meaningless computer module that leaves them saying "Why in the world am I required to slave away at this?"

I just think work without purpose would leave someone with a high degree of confusion and indignance.

We'll have to see how everybody feels after a summer at the store.

Should be interesting.

The Last Straw

I am traversing through Exodus right now.

I am trying to form better spiritual habits, and bible reading is at the forefront. Not to say I am some great pioneer...It's mostly the accountability with ma'lady which keeps me in check.

Anyhow,

The tension between Pharaoh and Yaweh is intriguing. Pharaoh is obviously unjust, and the people distrust and detest him. But the crazy part is that the people do not trust Yaweh--the God who helped their ancestors stand up against the pagan culture in which they were enswarmed (yes, I just made up a word). I mean, its kind of understandable. Moses just added to their labors when he asked Pharaoh to let them go. At this point in the story (where I am at) God is reassuring Moses that he will still bring the people out.

The thing about stories like Exodus is that we know how they end. We forget the painful details that lead up to the grand finale.

Like, Sunday school teachers never emphasize the part about the straw.

Because Pharaoh was peeved off, he told the Israelites "You've got to make the same amount of bricks, but now you've got to find your own straw to make it with." I can imagine how the Israelites were feeling at this point: distraught.

They probably said to themselves

"And two more years in Iraq?"

"And now she has cancer?"

"And three more dollars for oil?"

"And 10,000 people died?"

"And they are starving?"

I don't think postmodern America is completely different than ancient Egypt.

We can never see the big picture, and we will at points feel the burden of this life.

But God is in our midst when we don't even realize it, ready to deliver us from our daily oppressors.

We just need to remember.

Chatter

I am a conversationalist, but I am not sure that I am a chatter.

Today, for the first time, I chatted with people online via facebook chat. Probably not the most "hip" online messaging system, but a system nonetheless. It was really bizarre when I would go to type something, and then the person on the other end with answer the question before I asked it. All convention was sped up--everyone knew what was coming next and jumped right to it.

I'm not sure I like that. I like conversations where I can take a minute to gather my thoughts, savor words that are coming in, and slowly reveal what's stirring inside my head (which is important to me, but which varies in profundity.) Online communication is convenient and fast-paced...but something seems to be missing. The pauses, the mystery, the inflections--I miss all these things.

What I most love are blogs like this, where I can state my opinions, and it is usually several days, if ever, before someone disagrees with me.

Ah, so removed...